by
Christine Harris*
True confidence is an ongoing process of shedding outdated beliefs about yourself that weigh you down. This makes space to embrace positive qualities and values that empower your journey. When you have developed more awareness about who you are and what you stand for and value, you’ll be on the path of increasing your personal resilience and confidence. The purpose of this article is to help you focus on the elements needed to feel solid in your self-confidence.
Judgment is something that will get in the way of strengthening confidence if you don’t become aware of how easily we jump to criticize, evaluate and judge ourselves. It’s an inclination that only we human beings manage to cloud ourselves with and this keeps us muddling along versus flowing along! Notice that we are the only animal that does this…if a deer trips over a fallen branch in the forest, once they’ve succeeded in moving past the branch, they don’t look back or pester themselves about tripping over the branch.
Allowing yourself to judge and criticize yourself will only get in the way of strengthening your sense of self-confidence. Spend this week observing yourself rather than judging yourself. Here are the steps to break the judgment urge, so that you will move onto strengthening your confidence levels.
Firstly, spend this week simply observing when and where you judged or criticized yourself. This helps create more awareness, by reflecting on when you judged or criticized yourself. You might make a note as you are looking for patterns of time, place, and what else was going on, etc.
The second week when the urge to judge or criticize comes up, simply say to yourself, “That’s interesting” or “That’s curious”. Keep practicing this way of being non-judgmental with yourself. The urge to judge is just that…an urge…simply old wiring, a pattern that you have kept alive. It is alright to let it go. Judgment doesn’t increase your levels of self-confidence!
What really matters to you? Make a list of attributes like creativity, honesty, knowledge, responsibility, relationships, adventure, and more. Seek balance across any competing values, such as freedom versus stability. Define what these principles mean in your life. Do they align with how you think, speak and act day-to-day? If not, make adjustments.
When facing obstacles that test your capabilities and determination, resist the urge to give up. Reflect on insights gained and skills built through confronting the challenge. Study resources or join a supportive community to continue growing your abilities. Then reassess your approach with more self-compassion, and try again from this wiser perspective.
Staying grounded in the present moment prevents getting distracted from what truly matters. Carve out time for self-care routines that connect you to your body, mind and spirit. Yoga, meditation, dancing, massage and being immersed in Nature engages the senses and calms anxiety. Studies confirm that activities like being in Nature lower stress hormones and heart rate while boosting energy, mood and immunity.
Relaxation practices are equally vital for resilience and are most successful when you train consistently for 21 days. Once trained the relaxation practice will relax you in less than 30 seconds. Just 10 minutes a day of deep breathing, peaceful visualization or repeating mantras activates the body’s relaxation response, leading to clearer perspectives and renewed motivation.
Your self-talk carries weight, so tune in as you would to a close friend. Limit belittling narratives that feed insecurity and erode self-worth. Instead, speak encouraging truths aloud and envision handling difficult situations well. Read biographies of those you admire for any relevant wisdom. What lessons or inspiration can you integrate from their example?
Owning all aspects of your authentic self builds confidence from the inside out. Rather than minimizing interests or emotions to please others, pursue what sparks passion in you. Invest in personal growth, emotional intimacy in relationships, and activities that feel purposeful. You’ll become more comfortable in your own skin, able to then connect confidently with individuals who appreciate the real you.
Build Your Strength
The Confidence Companion Team
Surround yourself with champions who inspire boldness and believe in your ability to achieve meaningful goals. Be selective about those influences, limiting time with peers or media that frequently criticize. Their cynicism and pessimism can inadvertently become your inner soundtrack. Instead, exchange ideas and mutual support with those who share your values and commitment to personal development.
Have the Courage to Be Seen
The visibility that comes with confidently expressing your creativity or pursuing leadership can seem daunting. Banish worries of being judged and found not good enough. Those insecurities diminish your light. Rather, have the courage to be seen for all that you are and wish to contribute. People will critique no matter what you do or say, so stay true to your vision and purpose. The right collaborators and opportunities will gather around your authenticity and passion.
Expand Your Growth Mindset
How we explain life’s setbacks and slights profoundly impacts motivation and grit. A fixed mindset assumes challenges reflect an innate lack of talent or intelligence. This disempowering narrative makes us quick to surrender when solutions don’t appear instantly. Conversely, a growth mindset approaches roadblocks as chances to build skills and knowledge. Failures become lessons rather than indictments of self-worth. Adopt this empowering narrative, along with the habit of asking “what can I learn here?”. This mindset lifts confidence to keep thriving. It also helps normalize that building anything great takes years of incremental progress and course corrections.
Tend Your Inner Garden
Our self-talk matters. Negativity fuels insecurity and self-judgment. Monitor inner dialogues as you would conversations with a good friend. Release limiting thoughts and feed strengths and dreams instead. Envision handling challenges. Read about those you admire. What lessons or inspiration can be gathered?
Express Your Authentic Self
Vulnerability builds connection and confidence. Share feelings and values over impressing others. Explore interests. Uncover your true self, not who you think you should be. Boldly say this is me - right here, right now.
*Assisted by Claude AI
