by Kayleigh Roberts and Christine Harris
This is a sort of ‘tongue in cheek’ article on anxiety in all of its shapes and sizes. I hope you enjoy this review of the subject. So let's get to know anxiety. Let’s have a cup of tea with it and ask it a few questions.
Anxiety Profile
Pros: Outstanding in small doses, protective in immediate threatening situations, a procrastinator's best friend
Biggest Flaw: Destructive/damaging in long-term relationships, worry wort, tries really hard to be helpful and keep everyone safe but mostly just nags
Hobbies include: Hyperventilating, overthinking, pacing, insomnia, getting things done, and freaking out
Anxiety is brilliant at overreacting and misinterpreting situations. Most people's parents teach them not to trust the world. They move around with a distrust of the world and all of the things and people in it because they fear something hurting their baby and their duty is to protect. They are guarded because something might happen, not because something will happen or is even necessarily probable. It's true that there are endless possibilities. What we overlook is the question of whether or not this fear is actually helping us. If the answer is no, move on and focus on something you can do right now. If you feel helpless, that's okay too; sometimes all we can do is keep breathing.
Society has evolved faster than the human brain. Relative to the previous 200,000 years of human history we have had a dramatic environmental change in the past 500 years. We live in systems that value delayed returns over immediate returns. Previously the system was very direct and immediate: I am hungry, I forage or hunt food.
I Feel:
Worry (anticipating fear)
I see a badger and worry the badger will eat me. I will quickly get away from the badger and avoid it’s territory.
Anxiety (anticipating an event and attempting to prevent it from causing me discomfort)
I feel the cold of winter approaching and anticipate that there will be less crops, forage, or badgers to eat. I will move to where it is warmer and follow the game and vegetation.
Stress (uncomfortable body sensation)
I feel hungry, stressed, and irritated. I will forage and maybe eat a badger.
Anxiety is great for short-term problem solving. Procrastinators know this and rely on the ‘rush’ that comes from it to get things done. Break down your long-term problems into short term action items.
In the circus industry there is a rule: Hesitation is Death. Any small worry or distraction misses the beat of the moment, and you fall. You fall not because you didn't spend enough time diligently worrying, but because you thought you might fall. You fall because you weren't there. You fall because you fell into your head and ran around in circles. The best way to prevent danger is through action, not thought. Check the rigging, practice, and focus.
Anxiety creates loops. Loops are tangled delusional realities. Remember thought loops are just that. They are not real nor productive. Anxiety loops do not predict the future or protect you from it. If you feel anxious, do something that you can do right now. If you are anxious that your grandmother is coming over, and boy is the apartment a mess; do the dishes. Thinking about it isn’t doing anything about it, so don’t bother tormenting yourself.
HALT! : Are you hungry, angry, lonely, or tired?
Ask yourself how you are feeling at this moment and tackle the problem at hand. If the problem is in anticipation of something in the future; that isn’t currently affecting you, create an action plan. If you feel anxious, but don’t know what to do for it now, make physical or mental lists of things to help you relax or build strength.
When you feel anxious and experience looping thoughts ask yourself: Does worrying keep me safe? Probably not. Can you drop it? Do you want to let it go? Do you want to hold onto something that is not bringing you the results or serving your best interests? What do you get from holding on to anxiety? When you're ready: breathe in, breathe out, let it go. Do not try to hold on if it is destroying you. You're better than that, and you deserve better.
What it boils down to is that anxiety and fear are about self-preservation. It is an illusion that anxiety and fear will protect you in the future.
The problem isn't anxiety; we're using anxiety wrong. Anxiety is only useful to protect you in the present moment - in the reality of the present situation. If you feel parched or are dehydrated, anxiety can motivate you to drink water, but it won't lead you to the well. It will lead you in circles of self-doubt wondering if there is or isn't a well. And what if there's something wrong with the well? What should I say if I run into Nigel on the way to the well? STOP. Drink a glass of water. Do not use anxiety as a roadmap; use it to get something done right now.
Anxiety parades as a future defense, but the truth is it doesn't know how or what the future holds. Anxiety can be a good motivation tool short-term, but anxiety is a terrible long-term lover.
Build Your Strength
Create a list of action items you can do if you feel anxious. It may look like this:
Journal by writing about what and how you are feeling.
Observe what is happening right now. Write it down and look to identify patterns.
Meditate by breathing in deep and slowly, releasing all the air, then doing it again.
Read a chapter of a book that interests you. Get lost in it.
Exercise in any way that feels good to you. Do a silly dance!
