by Kayleigh Roberts and Christine Harris
When you decide to up and leave everything behind — all that you have ever known — it can be pretty scary. Your diet, daily habits, workplace, and friends change all at once. It feels as if it is just you against the world. Even the most banal day-to-day experiences become more convoluted than they were back home. Sometimes, it’s so nerve-wracking to do something as simple as grocery shopping because we let our fears get the best of us. Here are three common fears expats share and how to cope with them as you begin your new life abroad.
Answering the phone.
While telephone use has gone down significantly, you will still receive the occasional phone call or might have to make a phone call to set up an appointment. This can terrify many expats that have not yet mastered the language of the country that they are living in at the moment. What if they ask you a question you do not understand and you are unable to answer? Mortifying, right?
Dealing with insurance and other financial related issues.
Many expats find it difficult to adapt to a new bureaucratic style at first. There are many hoops to jump through, many documents to establish and go through, and many people to talk to in person and over the phone. It was nerve wracking back home and it is nerve-wracking in your new country.. It’s stressful not to know whether you are doing everything legally or not, after all, even a small misunderstanding could lead to big legal trouble. Many expats tend to fear being deported or getting in trouble, especially if there is the added obstacle of a language barrier.
What other people think.
Being judged for being an expat is still something that happens. Those that are native from their country might make fun of your accent, have a stereotype made up in their mind about your origins or a completely fabricated idea about what you represent to them. All of this can lead to a fear of integrating fully or making friends with the locals.
Fear explained.
What if I told you that the time that you froze up instead of doing something, anything, was an automatic biological response outside of your conscious control? What if I told you it’s not your fault?
Understanding more of the physiology of these responses will help us to calm our reactions as we’ll explain below:
People’s bodies automatically freeze without making a conscious decision, thinking, or having a proper chat with your brain and body to double-check that it’s a proper good idea. Fear overrides our nervous system, which encourages us to make rash actions rather than intelligent choices.
When we get scared, we breathe quickly, our senses heightened so the barely audible sound of a creaky floor can put us on edge. Pain becomes more intense and our hearing becomes sharp as a defense mechanism to escape predators, which is advantageous for survival in life-threatening situations. Sometimes our body gets mixed messages and overreacts when we aren’t in a dangerous situation, which causes problems and unnecessary oversensitivity to pain. Thankfully, we can practice breathing methods and calm our mind, body, and nervous system.
It’s time to forgive yourself for unfavorable, fear-based reactions, and move forward. Guilt and shame are not serving you. Replace them. Take control of your fears. Fight, flight or freeze reactions turn out to be more complicated than previously thought, for humans anyway.
Turn Fear into Forgiveness.
Forgiveness allows us to learn from our mistakes, or in some cases, to forgive ourselves for situations outside of our control. We can accept and love ourselves and move forward with a greater knowledge of why our mind and body react erratically under pressure. Focus on solving the problem by calming your nervous system through breathing and identifying patterns that cause this fear response.
Breathe when you get angry or upset to calm your mind and body and to make better rational decisions.
Finding it difficult to cope alone?
You don’t have to fight fear on your own, if it becomes unmanageable for you. It’s better to seek help sooner than later. Counselling can help ease the transition to your new life. Through counselling, coaching, and therapy, it is possible to circumvent or soften obstacles that prevent you from living your life to the fullest. I want to help you succeed and learn how to manage your day-to-day fears revolving in your life.
