by Kayleigh Roberts and Christine Harris
“It’s easier being in each other’s presence, or in each other’s absence, than in the constant presence of each other’s absence.”
We are all rapidly changing the way we connect with each other.
The upheaval caused by the Covid 19 virus and pandemic forces us to reroute our daily routines, the physical mappings of our lives, and to think more about our physical and virtual interactions. Across several generations, we are all taking part in a dynamic process to discover how to form and maintain genuine connections, to stay close to our connections despite distance, to learn each other’s boundaries, and to participate in a changing world.
Each of us is presented with personal challenges and unique rewards. Most of us have been forced to think differently about the ways we connect, which enables us to form more intentional interactions and can be an opportunity to limit interactions that are less rewarding to us.
Limited Energy with a Limitless Internet.
Without a regular schedule, time management is challenging. What are your priorities? Dedicated time for light exercise, nutritious foods, mindfulness with our body and feelings, and quality time with our loved ones helps us maintain the rest of our lives. It’s more important than ever to turn off notifications, and set a limited amount of time aside for checking email vs being up at all hours of the night and day checking for messages, news, and alerts.
Maintain Boundaries in An Unboundaried Zone.
It may be healthy at times to turn off the phone, only check emails once or twice a day, and remember you don’t need to respond to everything immediately. It can wait. We can slow our pace.
Learn to say no.
You don’t have to go to every Zoom hangout, be on call on your phone, or across social networks. If someone suggests something you aren’t comfortable with or interested in, it’s mutually beneficial to suggest something of mutual interest. You can suggest phone calls over video chat or turn off your camera. You are allowed to take breaks to walk around, stretch, look out the window, and take time out for yourself. Doing so will give you more energy to focus your full attention to the task at hand when you come back. Limiting notifications makes it easier to avoid multitasking and getting trapped in constant distraction without devoting your time, energy, or attention to what you are doing. If you need time to yourself, take time to yourself.
Trust Your Body When It Tells You to Stop.
We all know that if we don’t say no, our body will say no for us. In order to avoid chronic fatigue, we learn to respect ourselves, our time, and our energy. Assertive, healthy boundaries help us maintain our health and healthy relationships.
Zoom Fatigue is Real
Exhaustion from screen time, hyper focusing on loads of stimuli, and trying to gauge everyone’s reactions in their individual squares is taking a toll. Not to mention what we often aren’t getting out of Zoom Meetings: we often miss our break room interactions. We are now more aware that we are all in different places, and we miss sharing spaces that are basically anywhere outside of our homes. Our house is now also our home office, gym, and so on. We may not only be missing that in person connection, but we miss spaces that are disconnected from our personal space.
Tips to Reduce Zoom Fatigue
Limit number of Zoom meetings per day.
Give yourself plenty of time between meetings.
Encourage a different means of communication like a phone call or sending information by email.
Walking and talking on the phone may be better because you can keep your energy engaged and some people have more creative ideas while they are walking.
Limit the time you spend in a video chat.
Prepare a comfortable space and position to sit for video chatting. Have water and what you need on hand.
Set up a space that feels somewhat separate from your home with limited visual background distractions.
Take time before the meeting for a short breathing practice and to connect to your body.
Turn off your camera, and take breaks from looking at the screen.
Only turn your screen or microphone on when you are talking to reduce background noise and visual overload.
Minimize your video so you can focus on who’s talking with fewer visual distractions, self-critiques, and feel more natural and less like you are being watched. We don’t stare into a mirror during a normal face to face interaction. When people look at their video window they feel socially pressured and unconsciously feel the need to perform, which in itself is very tiring. (Remember your unconscious automatically takes in everything that the eye is able to see. That’s a lot to digest and process in your conscious mind and your unconscious mind!)
Use Gallery View to reduce excessive visual information. We don’t need or have the ability to constantly gauge everyone’s reactions, and trying to input so much information is exhausting.
Build Your Strength
When you find yourself on video calls for business, pleasure, or therapy, create a mindful space. Find a place where you create a sense of privacy and separateness for the duration of a meeting...someplace where a closed door ensures privacy. Give everyone in your household notice on when you’ll be ‘away’ in meetings and ask for their help limiting distractions during those times.
Some people find sitting upright, cross legged on the floor with a cushion seat in a meditation pose works for them. A chair or position that supports your back and body is important for a session. Set up a simple solid colored or basic background with lighting that is in front of your face and also focused on the side of your face. This will help prevent dark shadows on your face. Check how you look in your video test call, and then cover the small picture of yourself so you are not tempted to keep looking at yourself. Remember to dress for your meeting as if you were dressing for attending a face to face meeting.
Take 3 deep breaths and focus on your body before meetings to ground yourself in a physical space. Relax and come back to those deep breaths throughout your meeting. Notice where you are holding tension throughout your meeting and continue to breathe through the tension!
